This week’s ThT may wind up being more or less a short one. Suffice it to say, a lot is on my plate and
on my mind since my last entry. For
instance, it’s curious how little things like permanently misplacing important
items can really turn one’s attitude toward personal endeavors upside down.
I won’t lie to you happy lot -- I am really having second thoughts. It’s
not the lack of views and subs, mind you; I was well informed that I was
setting up shop in a wasteland, and getting very few visitors would come with
the territory. What’s really got my gut in a knot is the fact I have little to
no outside support as of this article. In other words, I’m pretty much doing
this alone like most YouTubers/Streamers, and from my own observations, lone
wolves like me generally don’t have channels that last. A suspension bridge without support cables won’t
hold weight for long, dear guests.
On top of that, I’ve been taking a long, hard look at my previous
broadcasts and the initial quality of my edited YouTube videos during my hiatus. In all honesty, I can only cringe. It really kind of sucks, despite having all
the necessary tools to start out with, realizing that I have no initial
direction and almost no conviction. The
last few livestream broadcasts I did feel forced now that I look back at them,
and I’m starting to wonder if the whole ‘I just want to share the fun I’m
having’ thing is really going to fly, if I really am having fun, and if the fun
I’m having shows. I fear that the
trepidation I’m gathering now is going to show up more than any fun I have no
matter what I do, and I know that will hurt everything in the long run.
Reality outside of the internet isn’t helping much either, but I won’t
go into the details, dear guests. Let’s
just say I’m in the process of getting reality re-arranged and leave it at
that.
Th long and short of it is that I’m likely going to take a bit
more time thinking about what I can do on my own; taking into consideration who
I really want my core audience to be, what will be regular content on my
channels, etc, and whether or not it’ll be worth it to pursue this hobby for
what it offers (… that isn’t all that much, mind you.) And do remember that this is all backseat
stuff to what’s going on beyond the computer screen.
And in before any thoughts otherwise -- I’m a noob, kids; remember
that. Noobs are a dime a dozen. I know I
won’t be missed if I decide to turn back now and focus on what’s really
important in life. Some days, one has to
smile and move on. I don’t know if I
should do just that merely for the sake of what’s left of my sanity.
Now, I’m not the kind to leave you happy lot on a downer. I do enjoy doing things that leave smiles on
people’s faces and sharing what I do with friends. Should I leave this behind to focus on making
life a little more agreeable, it might be worth it to pick this whole deal up
again once stuff’s all settled and out of the way. TL;DR, if I leave, I’ll be
back. If I stay, I can only pray it’ll
work out.
Until the next time, cats and kittens; have fun, be safe, and be awesome.
-Lioness
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